Chapter 3: Parental Alienation Syndrome

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Part I
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The Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is the systematic denigration by one parent by the other with the intent of alienating the child against the other parent. The purpose of the alienation is usually to gain or retain custody without the involvement of the father. The alienation usually extends to the father's family and friends as well.

Dr. Richard Gardner in his book 'The Parental Alienation Syndrome' states (P.74) "Many of these children proudly state that their decision to reject their fathers is their own. They deny any contribution from their mothers. And the mothers often support this vehemently. In fact, the mothers will often state that they want the child to visit with the father and recognize the importance of such involvement, yet such a mother's every act indicates otherwise.

Such children appreciate that, by stating the decision is their own, they assuage mothers guilt and protect her from criticism. Such professions of independent thinking are supported by the mother who will often praise these children for being the kind of people who have minds of their own and are forthright and brave enough to express overtly their opinions. Frequently, such mothers will exhort their children to tell them the truth regarding whether or not they really want to see their fathers.

The child will usually appreciate that "the truth" is the profession that they hate the father and do not want to see him ever again. They thereby provide that answer - couched as "the truth" - which will protect them from their mother's anger if they were to state what they really wanted to do, which is to see their fathers. It is important for the reader to appreciate that after a period of programming the child may not know what is the truth any more and come to actually believe that the father deserves the vilification being directed against him. The end point of the brainwashing process has then been achieved.

My ex-spouse was enabled to perform her "dirty" work by her own pathology of hate and deceit in addition to meeting a lady who practiced parental alienation as if she wrote the book. When I was divorced and found an apartment, luck was not on my side. My neighbor was a vicious, vicious person who schemed and used false allegations of molestation to remove her ex-husband from their daughter's life. Time and again I inadvertently saw they whispering in the apartment building hallway. It took years to determine my ex-spouse used similar tactics of brainwashing which came to light in a seven (7) year case of my neighbor, who was determined by several professionals as a "destructive parent."

Interaction with my neighbor only enhanced my ex-spouses ability to brainwash my boys, especially the younger one. Participating with her aunt and mother, my ex-spouse began taling against me to my youngest son when he was two (2) years old. This fact came to light on more than one occasion as witnessed by myself and my family members. When in-laws don't like their child's choice of marriage partner, one would hope they wouldn't use this dislike to brainwash and alienate a child from that parent. This form of alienation is normally not planned out but is a direct result of the hateful minds already built into the people practicing the alienation. Individuals naturally so full of hate justify this by purveying their thoughts to a child, a sick method of convincing themselves they are correct.
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